Managing Wedding Stress: Putting things in perspective.

Guest Blogger: Dr. Laurie Appel, Psychologist and host of “You Think You’ve Got Issues” podcast (available on iTunes and most podcast apps) helps brides with managing wedding stress.

There is probably no more stressful an event than planning a wedding. 

In fact, it almost seems like a test of your relationship.  If we can get through this, we can survive the next 50 years, right??  I have seen so many relationships brought to the edge during the planning and execution of this special day.  We put so much pressure on ourselves to make this the perfect day – the food, the venue, the dress, the hair and makeup.  We fantasize about this day, perusing Instagram and creating vision boards. But….there is the invariable fight with your fiance, or with your mother, bridesmaid or future in-laws.  There are the little planning glitches and disappointments that occur. And this can stress out even the most “chill” among us. So, here is my advice for managing your wedding stress. To all of you planning your (perhaps) “not so perfect” day. 

Manage Your Expectations

Expect that there will be little mishaps along the way and things may not turn out exactly as you planned.  However, often the little mishaps or misadventures are the very things that delight and humor us years later in the retelling of our wedding day. Perfection may be nice, but maybe a little boring, eh? Second, remember it is your day.  Well, yours and your future spouse’s.  So, stop worrying about pleasing everyone.  Make it what you want it to be; make it meaningful to the two of you.  That being said, be diplomatic and try to avoid direct confrontations.  Appreciate everyone’s input, but at the end of the day, it’s your opinion that matters most.  And, frankly, everyone else will just get over it…eventually.

Third, take breaks from it.  It may seem all consuming, but you can choose not to let it be. Be organized, but include scheduled “I’m not going to do a thing about the wedding” times.. Finally, remember what this day is truly about.  As special as this particular day is, what is more important than that particular day is all of the rest of the days that follow it.  This is the person that you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Indeed, no matter how your wedding day turns out, it is just a drop in the bucket of all the myriad of experiences you will have with your spouse.  In reality, the best way to avoid getting too stressed it to focus less on the day and more on the rest of your life with your spouse!